Giant spiders are giant.

For the last hour or so, I've been locked in mortal combat with a spider so big it has established a base in my bathroom.

I hit it square on the head with a boot and it was like farting at a hurricane. A hurricane with far too many eyes and legs. I'm pretty sure I just heard it using my tooth brush.

On an unrelated note, I drank six pints of coffee in an hour and a half and can't sleep, possibly ever. Send sedatives and Ultraman .

I'm gonna need a bigger boot.